


Only a Game - Zero and X

by Bobcat Moran (Bobcatmoran)



Series: Only a Game [3]
Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X, Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 10:32:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/pseuds/Bobcat%20Moran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Mega Man characters play the games they're featured in: Part 3, In Which Zero Plays A Video Game And X Says It Is Stupid</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only a Game - Zero and X

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer and spoilers:** X, Zero and all related characters are property of Capcom. I only own a copy of Megaman X3 which I have clearly been playing far too much. Speaking of X3, this fic totally gives away the ending with Zero still available a playable character. Some dialogue has been taken directly from the SNES version of X3.

Knock knock knock.

"Come in, it's unlocked," Zero said in response to the knock on the door to his quarters.

"Zero, haven't you ever heard of security features?" X asked as he slid the door open. "You didn't even ask who it was. What if it was a Maverick at your door?"

"Mavericks don't knock," Zero said, not glancing up from his computer screen. "Besides, you've got that particular pattern you use when you rap on the door."

X shook his head in mild exasperation at his friend. Then he noticed how Zero was transfixed by his computer. "You're not still playing that game, are you?" he asked.

"Maybe." Zero, eyes still glued to the screen, leaned slightly to the right, and X could faintly hear the tap of controller buttons.

"Did you even go to sleep last night at all?"

"I'm fine," Zero said.

"You're going to run yourself down, honestly," X said. Zero ignored him.

"If this has anything to do with those dreams you've been having, you know Sieg over in the med wing said that he'd be willing to —"

"I'm fine," Zero repeated, punching at the controller buttons a bit harder than was necessary. "Hah, yes! Take that!" he suddenly crowed, punching his fists into the air in victory. "Hey, X, you wanna see the end of the game?"

X shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Here, I'll unplug my audio feed so you can hear it, too." Zero popped a small antenna off the back of his computer, and tinny music filled the room.

"Ugh, whoever wrote this music must be tone deaf," X said, listening to the discordant, repetitive tune. He walked around so he could see the monitor. "Oh no, this isn't one of those games, is it?"

"Yup. Got it on loan from Colonel. He thought I'd get a kick out of being able to play myself in a video game. Took me forever to finish the dang thing with me intact, though. You'd think that the game creators were under the impression that my power generator goes south if you jostle me the wrong way. And I can't even fight the bosses. What a rip-off!"

"You couldn't fight the bosses?" X asked.

"I mean, I couldn't fight the bosses while playing as me. I had to switch over to playing as you. Uh-oh, looks like you're in trouble," Zero said, turning his attention back to the game screen.

The little on-screen X was cornered by a giant Sigma head. "Ha ha ha," said the head. "Give it up X. I'll possess your body and rule the whole world!!"

The real X rolled his eyes. "Oh, for the love of—"

"Oooh, hey, look, I've come to save you!" Zero interrupted. Sure enough, a little on-screen Zero jumped down through a hole in the ceiling, slashing at the Sigma head with his saber.

"Okay, now, why is everything stopping while you explain about the Anti-Sigma Virus program on your saber?" X asked. "I don't remember you telling me about that until afterward."

"It's a game, X. Not real life. I mean, where else would they explain it?"

"Afterward, when the place isn't blowing up around you?" X said, noting the onscreen explosions that were providing a backdrop to the dialogue.

"But this is more dramatic! I mean, explosions are exciting, right? Especially — wow, look at that! Sigma blew up real good there," Zero said, nodding in appreciation of the game's special effects.

X shook his head. "Honestly, the way you go on about this, you'd think that you hadn't actually been there for the real thing."

"You know, X, I'd think that you, out of all reploids, would have a greater appreciation for video games. Nobody actually gets hurt; they're all just pictures on the screen."

"But don't you find it at least a little creepy that with these games, someone can pretend that they're controlling you?" X asked.

"Creepy? Nah. I mean, it's pretty obvious that's not actually me. I don't make all those weird noises whenever I jump or use my saber."

"I don't know," X said. "You're pretty noisy for a shinobi."

"Hey, keep it up and I'll be forced to bring the foreign dub of the game into it."

"Foreign dub?"

"Yeah, that's the other one Colonel lent me." Zero reached over and grabbed another disk. "They redid the voices for release in, like, Outer Mongolia or something. Everyone sounds like they have a glitchy translator chip and you sound like a girl."

"I what?!"

"You sound like a little girl. A little girl who can't act. It's hilarious. Sigma's a hoot, too."

"Oh, for the love of…can I take that with me? I've been trying to stop them from making these games for years, and maybe I can use this as ammunition."

"You can borrow it. But just until next Tuesday. I have to get them back to Colonel."

"Fine, fine." X looked back at the computer screen, where the game was winding up with the aid of dramatic narration. "Why are we standing on a cliff?"

"Because it's more dramatic. Look at the background, isn't it pretty?"

"I prefer real sunsets." X then started to read the epilogue text out loud as it scrolled by. "'As X stares at the burning remnants of Doppler's lab, his body trembles from an unknown sorrow.' Who do they get to write this? This is horrible. And what was that about me having to destroy you? Where are they getting this?"

Zero was staring at the screen with a confused look on his face. "I have no idea. X, you don't have any secret homocidal thoughts towards me, do you?"

"What? No, of course not. Good grief, between the horrible music, the ridiculous sound effects, and the script that was apparently written by a bunch of monkeys, I can't see why you enjoy these games."

"They're fun to play," Zero said.

"Whatever. Listen, I came here to pass on the message that your ride armor is finally fixed, and Douglas would like you to stop by tomorrow morning to give it a test run."

"Took 'em long enough. Did he say what the problem was?"

"He said something about 'Irresponsible commanders who try to exceed the flight limitations.'"

"It's not my fault they don't make those Eagles sturdy enough for combat use — but don't tell Douglas I said that. Just tell him I'll try to stop by around 0730."

"Will do. And try and get some rest, will you? The last thing we need is for you to keel over in the middle of the hallway because your energy reserves are drained."

"Aye aye, sir." Zero waved his hand in a mock salute as X closed the door behind him.


End file.
